Epic Ideas

Coping with different personalities in a small group

When small groups of children contain big personalities, even the best-prepared Sunday school or Bible club sessions can be quickly de-railed! How do we manage the different characters in our group so that everyone goes away feeling valued and having learned something? This extract from a leader’s training session in the  Epic Leader's Guide offers some advice. You’ll probably recognise some of these characters from the adults in your home group too!

Chatterbox Charlie 
Very talkative and dominates discussions.
• Sit next to "Charlie" to reduce eye contact.
• Ask: “What does someone else think?”
• Ask "Charlie" to summarize the discussions, so that he has to listen to the others’ contributions.
• Talk to him privately about the problem.
• If you have lots of “Chatterbox Charlies”, then have an item that group members must hold, or cards they must hand in, before they can speak.

Debater Dani
Always presents opposition, and challenges every point.
• It can be intimidating for others but at the same time can help produce a “proper” discussion – so aim to direct "Dani" rather than shut her up!
• Ask for other suggestions.
• Break into pairs so that everyone has the chance to express a viewpoint.
• Set a group rule that it’s ok to disagree but you can’t talk over each other and can’t put down those with different ideas.
• Make sure you stick to main point – have a question time towards the end of Epic Explorers.

Voiceless Vic
Quieter and rarely contributes.
• Try to get to know "Vic". His silence could be because he is shy or because he doesn't want to be there or because he doesn't understand. Equally, he may be a heavily “auditory” learner, and will learn without having to contribute.
• Give "Vic" chances by asking: “Does anyone want to add anything?” Direct questions sometimes help.
• Sit opposite "Vic" to maximise eye contact.
• Take time to chat outside the discussion group and learn interests, so you can “pitch” questions and illustrations that interest him.
• Personal encouragement can make all the difference – both outside of group time and in thanking him for contributions.

Read more on Distracter Dom & Churchy Casey in the Epic Leader's Guide